The Elf on the Shelf

This is a long one, so bear with me.

In Journalism, it is often wise to realize your audience so I will say I am not a professional journalist because I have absolutely no idea who my audience is.

Could it be wine enthusiasts and hard core collectors? Or is it the mother who is trying to to do many things at once? If I had to make an educated guess, I would say it is my faithful friends who are more than happy to satisfy my overwhelming urge to be a journalist in anyway possible, even if it is in the humble blogosphere.

That being said, friends are the best people to write to at any time, and they are also the most interested in what’s going on in one’s daily life.

Regardless of why you are reading, I hope you will find this sweet story uplifting and mildly entertaining.

Ever heard of the Elf on the Shelf?

If you haven’t, the story goes something like this.

A small elf doll (similar to what one would think a Santa’s Elf looks like) as well as a book come hand-in-hand to the happy purchaser. The book is a story about an elf who comes to the childrens’ home very shortly after Thanksgiving and sits on a shelf to oversee the children on a daily basis. Each night, after the children go to sleep, the elf goes back to the North Pole (via his/her magic powers) to tell Santa how the children behaved. The caveat: no one may touch the elf or the elf will lose its magic powers and not be able to tell Santa how wonderful or poorly the child has behaved.

I will go on record as saying I absolutely adore Elfie, our little elf on the shelf. I am able to use Elfie to get a yes maam, a dish in the kitchen sink, teeth brushed or even something completely unheard of–read below to see.

On Friday morning, when Cynthia woke me up, I was so tired, I could barely get my head off of the pillow. I looked at her and whispered, “Is it possible I can give you money for your lunch as opposed to me making it?”

She smiled, kissed my cheek and said, “Whatever is easier for you is fine with me.”

I looked at her with amazement, and she whispered again, “Do you think Elfie heard me say that?”

O.K. So you get the picture.

The Elf gets major props when it comes to dictating my children’s behavior.

So, where’s the rub?

Do you honestly know how hard it is to remember to move the elf after your children go to bed each night?

Now, add two glasses of wine to the equation.

Elfie just got a little more comfortable.

Put some study and cleanup time in your nightly regimen, and that crucial little elf slowly and steadily gets pushed to the back of the shelf.

Of course, the elf’s magic becomes less magical when your kids wake up to the doll being in the exact same spot it was in when they went to bed.

What’s a wine-drinking mom to do?

I started to play a game with myself about my daily studies in wine.

Now, in my mind, the elf isn’t only watching my children, he’s also watching me.

He’s making sure when I study Portugal that I am learning the subregions of Vinho Verde versus drinking all of the Sandeman’s Port.

He’s watching to make sure I know the ageing requirements of Gran Reserva Rioja as opposed to downing the entire bottle of Albarino.

Instead of drinking multiple glasses of Cava, I should be focusing on the multiple methods used to make sparkling wine.

Yes, now, I have to make sure I behave in front of the elf, lest he go back to Santa to tell him I am imbibing more than I am retaining.

How can I make sure this happens?

You see, if I really do what I’m supposed to do, then at the end of my night, I will remember to move our little Elfie to a new spot in the house where our children will find him. It seems to be working, and my studying seems to be progressing.

I wonder if this elf can stay around until February.